Quotes and Quips

I would like to share with you some of my favorite quotes about THRIVING after grief, loss, change, traumatic brain injury and life in general. I invite you to send me an email to share which quotes touched you and to share a new quote that you would like to see me add to this page. I hope you are touched by these words…

“No one cries very much unless something of real worth is lost. So grieving is a celebration of the depth of the union. Tears are the jewels of remembrance – sad , but glistening with the beauty of the past.”

- Dr. James Peterson of the University of Southern California.
Thanks to my friend, Peggy Connolly for providing this beautiful quote.

From Tucker Law (my husband)...“

You always have a choice.”

From Mary Frances Lowry...

“Who cares what other people think? Be secure that who you are is always enough.”

From Peter Griffin (my Dad)(Go to links page to visit his website)

“You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Did you do your best? Then – that is all that matters.”

On Grief …

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Jesus

Loss is a common experience that each person encounters during his or her lifetime. It does not discriminate for age, race, sex, education, economic status or nationality. Loss is a byproduct of being alive.
Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

“Grievers do not lack courage or willingness. What they lack is helpful information and correct choices.”
John James, Founder, Grief Recovery Institute®

We suffer alone in our grief…but we heal in community.
Debbie Phillips

We all need avenues and permission for the real expression of our best feelings, our affection and appreciation.
Congregation Beth Shalom Rosh Hashanah 5767

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
Kahlil Gibran

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
~From a headstone in Ireland

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
~Kahlil Gibran

Even hundredfold grief is divisible by love.
~Jareb Teague

Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
~Kenji Miyazawa

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
~From the television show The Wonder Years

If you're going through hell, keep going.
~Winston Churchill

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
~Dan Rather

If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble.
~Moliere

The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep. ~Henry Maudsley

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
-- C.S. Lewis

Hope is a higher heart frequency, and as you begin to re-connect with your heart, hope is waiting to show you new possibilities and arrest the downward spiral of grief and loneliness. Listening to the still small voice in your heart will make hope into a reality.
-- Sara Paddison

What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.
-- Jewish Proverb

Humans have more room for tears on the outside of their bodies. That is why tears are shed not kept.
--Sister Susan, St Pius X, Greensboro, NC, 1985

Not only should we be unashamed of grief, confident that its expression will not permanently hurt us, but we should also possess the wisdom to talk about our loss and through that creative conversation with friends and companions begin to reconstruct the broken fragments of our lives... .We should not resist the sympathy and stimulation of social interaction. We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time...We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way under the healing sunlight of love, friendship, social challenge, to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life.
-- Rabbi Joshua L. Liebman

On Life …

All life is sacred. Since life is an affirmation of the Creator, I shall live on, even when I am gone. In trailing clouds of glory shall I return to my Creator only to find that I had never really left. I shall walk among the lilies of the field and leave my trail in stardust in the sky.
-- John Harricharan

On Life Lessons …

I guess I'm ready or it wouldn't be happening. Julia taught me that Spirit gives us nothing we're not ready for.
Kenny Loggins

When you no longer see the value in suffering, the healing is instantaneous.
Dave Barry

I accept life as my teacher. Life is my guru and everything in it acts as a teacher for me.

I use all negative experiences as chances to learn, evolve and grow, instead of letting them embitter me I maintain stillness and peace even as I move through unpleasant experiences.

I now heal my psychological or emotional illness by realizing the truth of who I am.

I am eternal and only here for a short time wearing this particular lifetime for a little while. It is not who I really am.
Above from Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

“Secrecy does no one any service. It bars effective communication and stalls coping.”
Pesach Krauss

“Whatever the universal nature assigns to any man at any time is for the good of that man at that time.”
Marcus Aurelius

On Relationships…Our Connection to Others …

I attract to myself people who love me, care about me and treat me with respect.
Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

“When your love story seems to end with death, please remember that love stories never really end. That’s what makes them so special.”
Allison DuBois, Medium, Author, We are Their Heaven

I release all others from all blame that I assign them. They only play roles in my life that help me become more awake and aware of
who I really am.
Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

Help your neighbor’s boat across and lo! Your own has reached the shore.
Hindu Proverb

When eating a fruit think of the person who planted the tree.
Vietnamese Saying

“When any human being, however obscure, decides to follow the more benevolent of courses presented before him, the dynamic good in his choice explodes and penetrates through all of the communities of man.”
Edmond Cahn, The Moral Decision

“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)

“It is plain that we exist for our fellow men – in the first place for those upon whose smile and welfare our happiness depends, and next for all those unknown to us personally but to whose destinies we are bound by the tie of sympathy.”
Albert Einstein

From 18th century Irish philosopher Sir Edmund Burke:
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”
Caleb Colton

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”
Winston Churchill

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world.”
Anne Frank

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?”
Henry David Thoreau

On Forgiveness…

“One of the most studied ways of giving is forgiveness. It brings an inner freedom, serenity, and peace that sets the tone for an entire life. It also relieves the burden of guilt and stress and frees us from pain.”
Stephen Post, Ph.D. & Jill Neimark

On the SELF…

"Self-respect is the fruit of discipline : the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself."
Abraham J. Heschel

Don’t believe everything you think.
Isabella

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.
Anonymous

You know, we can’t get out of life alive. We can either die in the bleachers, or down on the field. We might as well come down on the field and go for it.
Les Brown

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Eleanor Roosevelt

On Sacred Space…

Every family should have a peaceful space or breathing room, where any member can take refuge.
Thich Nhat Hanh

Beliefs…

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense. Buddha

On Learning…

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”

“The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance.”
Benjamin Franklin

On Memory …

If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Mansfield Park

On Doing Nothing…

There is a wonderful Italian saying, E dolce far niente which means, It's sweet to do nothing. When was the last time you experienced the beauty of being still and doing nothing?
From Sara Michel, Perfecting Connecting, September 18, 2007

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. Anonymous

On Joy…

"There are only 2 states of being - open or closed. Full or empty. True to your innate being or not."
Colleen-Joy Page

On Vision…

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart…who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside, awakens.
Carl Jung

On FAITH…

“Human beings are capable of godliness.”
Ron Wolfson, Author, God’s To Do List

Faith, as I define it, is not the traditional view that is familiar to us all. That kind of faith implies religiosity, or a belief in a particular doctrine or system. A new concept of faith, and the one that I teach, embodies a renewed confidence in oneself and our ability to tap into the force that created us all. It accepts that we are one with our Source, Spirit, and together we can form a loving, joyful, abundant life. There is no doubt, fear, or questioning where this faith is concerned. There is only trust.”
Adrian Calabrese, Ph.D., Author Sacred Signs, Interfaith, Metaphysical Minister

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”
St. Augustine

On Miracles…

Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.”
St Augustine

Miracles happen to those who believe in them.”
Bernard Berenson

Quotes From My Favorite Authors…

From M. Scott Peck, M.D. ...

On Challenges...

“Life is difficult.”

“Inaction is itself a form of action.”

“Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.”

“We can not solve life’s problems except by solving them.”

“The longer problems are ignored, the larger they become and the more painful and difficult to solve.”

On Frontal Lobes...

“It is our frontal lobes, our capacity to think and to examine ourselves that make us most human.”

On Love...

“The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own and another’s spiritual growth.”

On Spiritual Growth...

“The path of spiritual growth is a path of lifelong learning.”

“For when we truly know what we are doing, we are participating in the omniscience of God.”

“Miracles do exist.”

“What we don’t understand is why people survive the traumas of their lives as well as they do.”

“Grace is a call to a position of higher responsibility and power.”

“All of us are called by and to grace, but few of us choose to listen to the call.”

“The patient’s will to grow is the one crucial determinant of success or failure.”

From Mark Epstein, M.D...

“Self – the capacity to be.”

“Find that which is sacred and go home to it.”

From Rabbi David Wolpe...

On Living, Loving and Loss...

“Acceptance of the unpredictability of life, the loss of illusion of control, is a crucial mark of maturity.”

“There is no magic answer to loss.” …

“agonizing exploration of faith.”

“Without loss we can not grow. But without faith, we cannot bear to lose.”

“But loss and blessing take on peculiar combinations in our life.”

“I was not searching for a why but a how: How do I make this loss meaningful?”

“Loss can recede, but never disappears.”

On Destiny...

“Each dream can be a step on the ladder we climb in order to become the person we were meant to be.”

On Relationships...

“Intimacy is our protest against mortality.”

“Love is the shield against loss.”

“You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes.”

On Service to Others...

“Part of the powerful magic of life is that we never know when we touch other people or change their lives.”

On Impermanence...

“We live with the illusion that nothing will change. One day that illusion is shattered, smashed by the truth that we cannot return to the garden of permanence. That is the primary exile, one from which we never recover. Much of what we accomplish in life stems from the recognition that our span is brief. We strive to make a mark.”
7-13-85

On Depression...

“Depression is a turning inward because the world outside no longer seems charged with value and meaning.”

“Suddenly life seems empty or worthless.”

“The world is dulled, everything seems gray, cheerless.”

“Depression is a global collapse of faith.”

“I feel empty inside.”

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”

On Growth...

“It never occurred to me that we could never do all we wanted not because of the limitations of talent, but because of the limitations of life. We did not yet know that each choice involves a loss, that love demands sacrifice, that achievement exacts a price.”

“Exceptional moments in life are precious, but the ordinary sacredness is what we all have the potential to share.”

“Little is won without hard work.”

On Faith...

“How do we keep faith when dreams that matter go awry?”

“Faith is not a fortress. We are not locked into it. I do not believe as I did ten years ago, and I hope I do not believe as I will ten years from now. My faith has become more honest as I have grown. But it is not easy. Have faith in the searching. Loss is the platform on which we build a deeper, sturdier faith.”

On Meaning…

“Understanding that we can make loss meaningful is not the same as being glad that the loss happened.”

“Meaning begins in questioning.”

“To live without meaning is a kind of death, and in its way a greater loss, because it is a negation of life.”

“Our humanity is expressed most fully when we stake our souls in life, knowing that there is death.”

“Because death is the greatest loss, it harbors the greatest lessons.”

“I am going to live with the fear and I am going to really live in spite of it.”

From Soren Kierkegaard…

To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.

Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.

Don't forget to love yourself.

Once you label me you negate me.

Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.

How absurd men are! They never use the liberties they have, they demand those they do not have. They have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.

If I am capable of grasping God objectively, I do not believe, but precisely because I cannot do this I must believe.

It belongs to the imperfection of everything human that man can only attain his desire by passing through its opposite.

A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.

From Leo Buscaglia...

Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.

Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise.

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love.

Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

Change is the end result of all true learning.

Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.

Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever.

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade.

I've always though that people need to feel good about themselves and I see my role as offering support to them, to provide some light along the way.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

We all need each other.

Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.

I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and say, No, I won't do it, I won't behave his way anymore. I'm lonely and I need people around me, maybe I have to change my methods of behaving and then you do it.

I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy. It's not giving a damn.

I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things... I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind.

It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.

Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.

The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.

What love we've given, we'll have forever. What love we fail to give, will be lost for all eternity.

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

From Alfred Adler, Psychiatrist

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.”

“What do you first do when you learn to swim? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can without drowning - and some of them many times over - what do you find? That you can swim? Well - life is just the same as learning to swim! Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live!”

“The only normal people are the one's you don't know very well.”

“No experience is a cause of success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences so-called trauma - but we make out of them just what suits our purposes.”

From Friedrich Nietzsche German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

“One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes.”

"Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.”
”Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.”

From Viktor Frankl, M.D. ... 1905-1997

“Existential frustration is in itself neither pathological nor pathogenic. A man’s concern, even his despair over the worthwhileness of his life is an existential distress but by no means a mental disorder."

Goals of logotherapy and therapy in general:

“To weave these slender threads of a broken life into a firm pattern of meaning and responsibility.”

"The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.”

“When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.”

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality.”

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how.'”

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone's task is unique as his specific opportunity.”

“For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment.”

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

In Closing…

The Salutation of the Dawn from the Sanskrit
Listen to the exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities
And realities of your existence:
The splendor of beauty,
The Bliss of growth,
The glory of action:
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow only a vision:
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope,
Look well, therefore, to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn.

Blessings and peace to you on your journey…